I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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