O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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