oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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