i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
