I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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