She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
