this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
