I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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