I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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