Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
