honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
whose parrot is this?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
