Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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