Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
