Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
