Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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