If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i need some magic done to my vagina
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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