Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
