Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, beer. Big fan.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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