the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
