I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
