just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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