Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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