i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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