Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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