I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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