yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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