You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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