Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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