My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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