Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
