I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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