i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
