I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
