WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
