You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he thought i was a dude.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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