My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
