I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
