Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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