I'm so fucking centered right now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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