I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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