If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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