Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
