how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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