Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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