I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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