I just pynch a tree in the face
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
