Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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