Did you just see the Batmobile???
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
