i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
