I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
