Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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