i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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